I realized when I shed the bulk of my excess weight that one thing I needed to do, to ensure I never again slipped back into the apathy of of self neglect and the resulting obesity, was to own and wear good clothes, although I do not need many and to maintain my hair style and colour touch ups when due. I usually go way overdue to spread out the cost of professional hair care, or even have been known to cut my own hair, colour it, usually successfully but with an occasional failure I'd rather not repeat, or I've even badgered Reg to shave off the back, as a money saving device and needed to wear a sun hat, not for sun protection but to hide the hair cut. :-).   I have done those types of hair cuts or when younger been content to just swish it up on top of my head or in a pony tail, in preference to spending money on myself.

So today marks a special occasion in that I am for the first time fulfilling this promise to myself,  of having professional hair care, when I need it, not two to ten months later as per my previous, unsupportable of my appearance,  routine.  

I am  nervous, I don't know the hairdressers and I am very definite about the bob I want and the hair colour to be only a subtle blending in of the previous colour and my re growth grey as subtle touch ups do not require as costly maintenance and while I am having this hair care done today, because it is due to be done, starting to look like it needs to be done, I never will be the sort of woman who enjoys going to the hairdresser, nor enjoys paying half my weekly income on a hair do, very often.

This self care when due, promise to myself, is supposed to help me reinforce my commitment to love and nurture myself and  become naturally slim, by avoiding the extremes I have applied to my care, in the past, of apathy, doing nothing, or excess, LOL, turning my self orange with a home hair colour and shaving my head three quarters of an inch, all over to get rid of a bad hair colour.

I wonder if I will ever relax and feel comfortable about the cost?

I wonder what will win out long term, will I think it more loving and supportive of me, to not apply financial pressure to myself, by spending money I don't want to spend, on my appearance, or will I ever accept as I think  most women do, that good hair care is as essential as shoes.  LOL, now that's another story, as I look at my two year old shoes, soiled, worn and my favorites have a burn hole in them from the spark of a camp fire.  :-).  I am lousey when it comes to spending money on glamour but I do spend it where needed on comfort and fit, those shoes only look worn and cheap, on the outside, they were the best fit and comfort my money could buy and I'll wear them till their death rattles, LOL, :-), you cannot totally change a practical, lady into a glamour puss, and those shoes got me walking again  so everything including preparedness to spend money on myself to look better, has to be balanced with what works for me.   
 

Yes that is what I am learning to achieve- I am striving to apply a balanced form of self nurture to myself, one I am able to live with.  


So today I step outside my comfort zone and spend money I am not certain I should, on my hair care.

Learning to compromise and balance is a big part of this weeks preparation for my first exhibition and sales here at the Kununarra Show.  I need to ensure fatigue goes not set in: I am already becoming tiered and my arms are aching due to repetition craft making so I have stopped weight lifting temporarily and accepted that the show set up and pack down will be enough exercise.  I  need to watch myself that I do not slip back into apathy, been there, done that, not going back to the form of self abusive, overwork, self neglect that led to my lack of the right sort of exercise, grazing rather than meal planning. 

I am loving this exhibition, preparation and have not planned too big an exhibition show run, just half a dozen shows, just enough sales of landscape art prints to pay for the trip out to see the landscapes I paint, in our self funded hobby business, designed to provide Eco therapy to keep my man with frontal lobe dementia, happy and well, as it usually does and to satisfy the former professional artist and art gallery owner in me, an emotional creative satisfaction from seeing the major works I once painted, still out there being appreciated, if only in the form of post cards, fridge magnets, art cards and my most recent make this week, of book marks.  I need my emotional creative satisfaction and close proximety to nature, 'country', this is no one priority for me, LOL, more important than hair care, for my spirit to stay on a high.

My life has undergone enormous change over the past few years, and this is the year of  fine tuning the balance, as all the hard work of retirement, change from career to carer , downsizing, setting up for our gray nomad lifestyle, has been done. 

Now if waffling about going the a hair dresser ten weeks after my previous cut, is the most serious concern in  my life today, :-), I think I am, I think, Reg and I are on the right track for the rest of our lives, and this balanced life style will be very supportive of my quest to become naturally slim.

I welcome your comments and sharing of your thoughts.