I set out on this trip around Australia expecting that I would return home one size smaller.  
The changes I have made on this trip have happened more in my head than on my body and I am happy about this.
Yes being healthy and naturally slim IS still very important to me, I have not lost sight of my goal, I am more, weaning away from needing to focus on slimming as a goal and moving on to slimming being an accepted thing that my body will achieve, naturally in response to how I now live my life. I don’t feel the need to prove my belief by showing others I am slim now,  I am comfortable at any weight I am between now and the weight my body eventually finds as it’s ideal weight.  
Of course I have my ‘feel fat’ moments, but they are now, ‘moments’, not days, weeks or months, and I am able to quickly squash any temporary urge I get to panic attack the weight, by thinking in terms of dieting, and I quickly get my mind back and focused on healthy life style, eating healthy, when hungry, stopping when satisfied, exercising 30 minutes a day with my weight bearing exercise and frequent but not excessive, incidental activity through the day.  
Yes I still need to pep talk myself out of reaching for diet shakes for a day, after a day when I ate beyond satisfied, but then I remember that an egg on multi grain dry toast with mushrooms, is less calories and better nutrition than any diet shake and it’s not dieting, it’s ‘LIVING ‘  and I am right back on track to living and loving my life and slimming naturally, freed from obsessive dieting and confident that I can choose what I feel like eating, when I am hungry and know I am making the right choice for me at that time.  
These days if I find I am not making the right food choices, I don’t give myself ‘food rules’ to follow, I look at the life style that has me making such poor choices and question if the lifestyle can be modified so I can care for myself better.
 I have become more comfortable around food and have been able to shed all feelings of guilt if I occasionally choose to eat at a weight maintenance level while I am still overweight.,  
I am not in a rush to achieve any weight goal and so I am eating as I choose to eat, knowing most of the time my choices are excellent and my quantities and exercise will support muscle development, protect my bone density and allow for further fat reduction.
This week was a mixture of  body self nurture and accepting a degree of  less than ideal self physical care, in order to achieve the financial goal we had of earning an income at this exhibition and show at Kununurra, to pay for the car and van services and the diesel fuel for part of this Australian tour we are on.
Let's just say I was no saint.  I ate the commercially cooked foods in the show grounds, a Chinese meal on the first day of the show while setting it up, was breakfast.  The lamb shank for the 'Lamb Van Man’ was lunch and the Rotary club hamburger stall was dinner, and the corn on the cob, was the vegetables.  I did use my own fruit and didn't buy the commercial deserts and I only bought the Devon-shire tea scones, jam and cream for Reg and I nibbled on healthy natural almonds. 
I worked two 18 hour days straight with a lot of lifting of boxes involved and there was no time or space to prepare my own meals in front of the exhibition and I was happy with those choices and pleased that i have reaches a stage of my life where I am relaxed enough around food, to actually give myself permission to guilt free, eat what I feel like eating and in this instance, even allow the extra amount of food to support me in maintaining the endurance I needed for these busy days of work.
I am aware that that lifestyle and way of eating, if repeated often would make me obese again.   That's the point, I am making, I don't do that very often, If I found myself doing so, I would now adjust the lifestyle so I could easily nurture myself well, rather than choose to diet. I have changed my life so I am not repetitively working 18 hour day and eating more food than I need in the desire to gain energy from the food to keep going, rather than recognizing that my body needs rest not more food, when I am exhausted. I no longer choose to eat, more energy than I can burn from high fat and salt source because I haven’t taken the time to nurture myself with healthy food.
During the show, I chose not to do any planned exercise other than the physical work of setting up, running and packing the show as that was very physically demanding.  I also took two rest days after the show, where I had planned only one.  I responded to how I was feeling.
After the pig out on take away foods during the show days I have been back on my oatmeal, low fat yogurt and milk, with fruit for breakfast, salad and a little low fat cheese for lunch and big vegetables stir fry with legumes and fish for evening meal, coffee with breakfast, cups of tea with lunch and a cold, low carbohydrate beer with my evening meal and raw almonds and a piece of fruit or lin soy multi grain bread and honey with almonds on top or cheese as a nibble.  Once a week I have eggs and chicken meat but fish and legumes are my main protein serving.  
When I dine out, I eat whatever is served, to some extent, I am not fanatical about eating healthy, I think if my home choices of food conform to what I think is good for me and I love, it doesn’t hurt to eat refined carbohydrates and red meat in moderation, when visiting, and I even enjoy them.
So what I have gained over the past few months has been a total feeling of comfort that I am on the right track in caring for myself.
What I have lost is a few centimeters.   Subtle changes that I am pleased with.

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